"Then he said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.'" John 20:27 (NIV).
Oh, Thomas. How little faith you must have had. How foolish you must have seemed to all of your peers. From now on the term "doubting Thomas" will be a phrase describing Christians who struggle in trusting the Lord.
Give the guy a break.
Can you imagine the turmoil Thomas and the other disciples must have faced after seeing their Master brutally flogged, needlessly massacred, and meekly hammered into a wooden cross? How could they be expected to believe something that literally was too good to be true? I think over the years, our Sunday school teachers and Christian education leaders have been a little too hard on Thomas.
I read this passage this morning, and was completely convicted. While I stand 100% in the truth that Jesus Christ suffered for my sin and was resurrected, however I have trouble trusting him with other things in my life. Luckily, Jesus is very patient with me (and I know the hundreds of thousands of others who are currently struggling with the same thing in their walks).
Lately, I have been really worried about my school/job/financial situation. I had planned on working at Ukrop's (a part-time job I have held since the summer before my freshman year) along with interning at the PO this summer. Well, come to find out, Ukrop's has laid off all of their college kids, leaving me jobless therefore money-less this summer.
Yesterday, my best friend (who also held a job at Ukrop's) was spouting off all of these really great job opportunities that have fallen into her lap. She's been offered several babysitting/nanny positions. On top of that, she was even offered her job back at Ukrop's.
I didn't understand. I am just as hard-working, have just as many skills and love Jesus just as much as she does. So, why wasn't anyone knocking down my door to have me work for them?
This stress/worry therefore snowballs into something much bigger. I start to worry about my career choice, and graduation and how I am going to pay for graduate school. Then I think about how all I have ever wanted to be was a journalist and how newspapers are folding all over the country, and the entire face of the news industry is being completely turned up-side-down, and I think..."what on EARTH have I been working myself to death for?" From there I begin to question everything. I question my abilities, my talents, my effectiveness in spreading the gospel and even my own worth.
Then I read a passage like this. And I picture Jesus looking me square in the eyes and saying "Stop doubting and believe." Woah. How convicting that must have been for Thomas, and how convicting those red letters are for me today.
What are you having a problem trusting God with? Will you be the "doubting Thomas" and need physical affirmation that Jesus is truly at work in or life? Or will you be the one who will let nothing (even their own self-depricating thoughts and worries) stand in between interefere with your love and passion for Christ?